thank god i am no longer 22

i took it upon myself to it upon myself to check out the annual st. patrick's day parade on 5th avenue yesterday afternoon. i have been living in new york for over 5 years and visiting for well over a decade and have never taken the time out of my oh so busy schedule to celebrate my people (at least half celebrate). i was escorted by a lovely friend of mine with whom i have had many conversations about aging and approaching 30, as she is 6 months my junior. we went to central america together last year and had ample opportunity to talk about love, life, and the eternal questions about growing older. she is much more of a party girl than me and, as we were traversing rockefeller center, packed with frat boys sporting "I'm Irish, Blow Me" paraphernalia and inebriated girls using any holiday as an excuse to wear lingerie as outerwear,  i could actually see the wistfulness in her eyes; the hidden longing for youth passed by.

that is when i looked her in the face and exclaimed, "aren't you glad you're not 22 anymore?" thinking she would jump on immediately jump on board. instead she said just the opposite,  that she could wear green and party in the streets everyday of her life and be just fine. then i instructed her to take a good, hard look at the boisterous crowd surrounding us. these girls, young college age i imagine were not to be envied. they were like little lost puppies roaming the streets of new york city high on kibble and looking for a warm place to rest their head. they were awkward and uncertain of themselves with bad skin and even worse makeup and, if i do say so myself, very poorly styled.

now, i am not claiming to be so put together. my hemlines are consistently inappropriate and my recent adventure in bang-dom was a bad call, but, at 29 i am no longer the girl piecemealing her life together, but a woman who kind of has one worked out, not matter how much i am pained by it. as i looked at my striking blonde companion i could see the lights go on, if only dimly. she too, on some level or another, was glad that she was no longer 22. true, they have their whole lives ahead of them, but sooner or later you've got to start living yours and not planning for the one to come.

i am the absolute worst at doing this, as i like to save my cake, feeling no desire to actually eat it. i have more recently come to the realization that if i leave that cake waiting for me in my fridge it will either a) get stale and go bad or b) be eaten by my fictional roommate. sure, yesterday i was half proud to be half irish and glad that i not only got to enjoy beautiful weather and interesting people watching, but got to do so with an extraordinary woman but upon taking in the debauchery seen midday in midtown yesterday i will say this: thank god i am no longer 22.

march 2011