grateful

new york received 18 inches of snow last night. for those of you who do not live in a climate such as this a) i hate you and b) just imagine a foot and a half of snow on your doorstep. now, as i mentioned previously, i am attempting to embrace the snow but as i was taking my evening jog last night and the snow was furiously pelting me in the face, that was an increasingly difficult task.

in an attempt to become a more grateful individual and maintaining the impeccable manners with which chris and melody raised me, i must say one thing in regards to the continuous snow that carpets the dirty side walk on which i walk daily. thank you.

i do not own a shovel. i have never purchased salt for any reason other than to test the boundaries of my own blood pressure. despite both of these facts, on most days i walk on at least partially cleared off roadways and for that, i am thankful. i am thankful that the small business owners and patiarchs of sprawling families in my neighborhood rise to the bitter cold and murky grey skies each morning and shovel the sidewalks, so i can walk 8 blocks to the subway.

although my tone is sarcastic; a tone i have perfected over decades, the sentiment is very real and to the men and women with whom i reside uptown, i would like to offer a very real thank you for making snow days just a little bit easier.

january 2011

behind the books

a couple of months ago a friend asked if i could shoot something for him. when faced with this question my answer is undoubtedly one beautifully simple word: yes. i was really excited to see the extended trailer today and even more excited to see that the movie poster above!

i can't wait to see the documentary in it's entirety and congratulations to the documentarians for a film that is certain to be bound for greatness.

january 2011

harlem

january 2011

125th street

january 2011

bus stop

uptown collective

january 2011

hiking in manhattan

uptown collective

uptown collective

january 2011

saturday afternoon

uptown collective

january 2011

suddenly c-mor

january 2011

inspired by snow

i am a fighter. i have been fighting forever. fighting to make my own choices. fighting to do my own thing. fighting to be whomever it is i want to be. in recent years the fight has been to, as mentioned previously, remain a californian in the metropolis known as new york city.








this winter, my 6th here i believe, has finally gotten to me.

no longer am i begrudgingly pulling my snow boots on or fumbling angrily for my metro card burdened with mittened fingers. this year i am welcoming the cold, relishing the layers of clothes, and finding the beauty that is the change of the seasons.









back from california now for just a week, i have had the opportunity to be out with camera in hand and have felt inspired by the snow and enjoying this snowy winter because it, like everything else, ends.




january 2010

dive bar

uptown collective

january 2011

back in town

the snow came back just in time to remind me its winter...

january 2011

you can never go home

i am very proud to be a californian. i am so proud, in fact, that i have made it a point to stay very connected to where i come from as i have moved from one city to the next. according to my big sister, last year's trip home was a rough one for me as well, but perhaps the growing pains of last year made the realization of this year that i do not live in california all the more clear.

a cavity that had been left to sit nestled within my molars for about year so a quick drive up to sacramento to visit dr. behl, my dentist for over 20 years, allowed me to see my pops once again, and take in the 4th movie i saw in my 2 weeks and not only do i declare jeff bridges the coolest man alive, but i also think that marky mark's still got it. i also got to have a slumber party with my 4 year old my neice and have coffee with an old friend. then, it was back down to san francisco again to tour guide a friend from new york around the city with which he was not yet familar and got to see the city i love in all its glory on a clear, dark winter night. in the morning i ate a cookie, boarded a flight, and came back home... to a dirty apartment!

a couple days spent on valencia with one of the kindest hearts i know and exponetialy growing the diameter of my ass at all of my favorite eateries was just what i needed. facing san francisco this past week and realizing that i have officially not lived there for 5 years, and that i have in fact, lived that whole time with the dirty mistress known as new york was something i needed to do. san francisco will always be my first love, and no one will ever replace her, but right now, she can't give me what i need, and i have to figure out what exactly it is i need.

Heading from Sacramento to Visalia to Los Angeles to San Diego to Los Angeles to San Francisco all took place before New Years. I got to see some great family and dear friends and be reminded that i am being stubborn ruling southern california out as a contender as possible home. The weather was beautiful, as were the people and I rose at 5 am in LA to arrive in San Francisco midday on New Year's Eve to spend it with my bestie, Simone. We went out with some of her friends and attempted to make a night of it, but my heart wasn't in it and I was exhausted so I had Mohad, our jovial driver for the evening who I actually think is just a man with a car that picks up strangers, and not a licensed cab driver, drop me at home where i snuggled up on the pepto inspired couch and called it a night before the ball even dropped.

with a failed attempt at a hair appointment in the bay area i headed east to sacramento for christmas with my mother and my annual christmas party, a tradition i have grown to cherish. i have been blessed to have met the best people i have ever known in the capitol city and part of my heart lies in sacramento county and with it's inhabitants. a few days with childhood friends made my realization go from bitter, to bittersweet. yes, its true the girls i was on jumprope team with were mothers and wives and had whole social circles in the town in which i grew up but with whom i was not familiar, and that was ok. it didn't matter that our lives had taken different turns and have gone on without one another in the same location, but we still loved each other, and that wasn't going to change based on proximity.

arriving at sfo around 1 am on the 23rd of december was a familar and welcomed feeling of the chilly bay area night air and the warmth of home. i crashed at a friend's apartment in the south bay. a place at which i usually feel as at home and my mother's 4 bedroom home, but this time things felt different and time passed without one another was ever present. it was my 2 week voyage to california to reconnect with loved ones and get a taste of home that began with the realization that at some point, people grow up, and things change, and you weren't even looking.

january 2011