Showing posts with label island. Show all posts
Showing posts with label island. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Fuck The Police And Fuck The Hookers.























Oh my goodness, where to begin. In the past few days I have become a civil rights activist; I have had my first halluciation; I've hiked through the jungle at night an irate monkey would tear my face off like that lady on Oprah who has to wear a bee catchers hat at all times and my camera has broken.

It is Saturday in Sihanoukville, but my guess is every day operated pretty similarly. A few motorbikes are making noise as they gradually ascend and descend the hill that runs from downtown to the sea. The Corner is open and currently serving several foreigners, but I like to try new places so I make a lap, tie up my hair that I always try to keep down, at least for a few moments to be clean in the breeze, and locate and eatery that just happens to share real estate with a mechanic. 

Cambodia jams waft through the air, as do some peculiar smells, but several people seem to be enjoying their meals here - my guess is they are all members of the family that owns the place - and when the proprietor and matriarch sees me she simply says 'noodles, mamma?' - Sold! 

Shortly thereafter iced tea and meatball soup are served.

Traditional breakfast seems to be a sweet ramen served with a variety of meats. Sometimes I am adventurous enough to tackle, others I am not.

Breakfast complete, I pay $1.50 with one American dollar and 2000 riels. I have not seen a single coin while in this country, but their paper currency seems to function quite the same and with American currency readily accepted it seems appropriate to pay most places with both.

I go to a few places that offer to rent motorbikes, but all seem to want to hold onto my passport which makes me exceedingly uncomfortable so I compromise by doing so at the hostel next door to mine. The helmut doesnt fit, the gas gauge says empty and the speedometer doesn't read so I figure I am good and hit the open road. After taking several wrong turns I find myself in the city center with large plainly stated signs leading me to Otres Beach, my destination for the day.




















Just as I am coming around the roundabout, a large golden Lion in the middle serving as a major landmark in these parts, two police officers waive me over. My initial thought is good god - I still have a ticket to pay in New York state and I don't even have a car there. I literally cannot get into a motor vehicle (or in this case on) and not get a ticket, regardless of whether or not I am actually piloting.

I pull over.

The police officers inform me that the chin strap on my helmut is not snapped.

Initially I pay the proper amount of reverence one does to an officer, snap it, apologize and make moves to continue on the road.

They persist.

This shocks me because, if you've ever been to Southeast Asia, or any third world country is it totally normal to see a 2 year old at the helm of a motorized vehicle, sometimes with several oxen tied to the back. From time to time they will be drinking a local beer while doing so.

As I stand there many many people drive by with nary a helmut in sight.

They inform me I will have to pay. Being terribly American I exhale and prepare to be handed a ticket or something remotely official to pay a fine. Then as they proceed to list I can buy them a bottle of water, or some food I am in complete and utter shock.

I have been racially profiled. Pulled over for no good reason and now I am being blackmailed.

The public defender who lives not so deeply inside of me instantly comes to action and instead of handing them a buck and continuing to the beach I continue the conversation. Repeatedly telling them I will not be paying them anything and I will not be getting off my bike.

Now I am getting angry.

And so are they. The chattier of the two officers repeatedly reminds me that he is the POLICE, pointing to his uniform that says so just in case I am confused by my native tongue.

To be perfectly frank - I don't give a fuck. How dare you attempt to extort me for money, pulling me over only because I am a foreigner and you know it. 

We go back and forth for 10 minutes or so and he keeps gestering behind me telling me to talk to his boss. He says in no uncertain terms that I need to get off the bike, but my body won't let me.

At first he puts his hand on mine, a clear sign of authority. Then he physically attacks me, pulling me off the bike with all 150 lbs of his brut strength, hops on the bike himself and speeds away.

I am in disbelief. Stunned. And livid.

I have to return that bike to get my passport and I have to have my passport well, to pass back into the United States so I know I at least need to address this.

Not 3 minutes later I am at the "Police Station" which consists of two men sitting at a card table under a tent with what appears to be the sort of cash box used as school carnivals.

Now the boss man is confused. There are a handful of caucasian people, heralding from all over the globe. The German couple pays immediately and the French couple gets away with the we are French and don't understand. But I have not attempted to kill these motherfuckers with kindness. They have the audacity to request bribes, loudly in daylight and aren't the slightest bit ashamed. I go back and forth with the police chief for maybe 30 minutes before he becomes so irritated with me he begins to yell at me and his henchmen "escort" me back to my bike. 

My motorbike prowess is limited and I cannot get the bike started, to which they yell more. At this point I am so angry and upset, tears are sliding down my freckeld cheeks which only makes me more angry because they no doubt think I am some scared little girl, but really I want to clock them in their smug faces. 

With only one pass to the famous beaches down here I am landlocked, as the police set up shop there for just these sorts of incidents, though I would imagine usually less violent. 

I begrudginly drive back to my hood, crying the whole way and return to the Queenco which has a small if unimpressive strip of sand and Wifi so I can call back home and speak of this injustice, ironcally enugh, to a black man who seems to have a grasp on my indignation.

I will never pretend I know what it is like to be a black man in America. It would be foolish and insenstive for me to do so. But I do believe that an experience like this gives me just a taste. And let me tell you, it doesn't taste good.

After several hours of lapping waves and sunshine my resting pulse has lowered below apooplectic levels and I am able to relax, a little. 

Japanese male tourists are here in droves, maybe for the local industry of local girls, maybe to take a leisurely dip in the Gulf of Thailand and then bask in the sun at the outdoor restaurant in their still wet boxer briefs, spread eagle, leaving very little to the imagination. But leaving a whole lot to wonder about whether or not those stereotypes we've all heard are true or not. Never having seen an Asian penis, I casually glance from time to time looking for signs of life but fruitless and a bit "To Catch a Predator" of me I decide instead to return my attention to the beautiful blonde woman to my left with the beautiful body and the beautiful baby (I hate her) and my main man - Mr. Chuck Klosterman.

After an American priced meal on the beach I head back up the hill where a Dave Gahan lookalike informs me of his gig at Club Mojo around the corner from the girly bars while perched upon his hog. My interest is piqued, but I have to return my motorbike, to a woman who hands me a burgandy passport, crack staff they have here. And besides - I think I have Sihanoukville - hookers and crooken cops. I'd rather stay in tonight and hop on a boat outta here tomorrow.

Luckily the staff at Out of the Blue hostel can facilitate both. The ticket is $25, which seems wrong, but what are you gonna do, so I buy a Sun Tours ticket to Koh Rong Salmeon, a small island off the Southern coast of Cambodia and hope for the best.

I spend the night looking for accomodation for the folliwing evening, there is a $110 a night gorgeous yurt that would transport me to Santorini, but I am in Cambodia, so I pay $16 for Freedom Bungalow and call it a day. This trip is already becoming more expensive than I anticipated, but they always do.

My bag, now barely containing same amount of stuff I brought with me, perhaps my sweatsuit just takes up too much room in 90 degree weather, is slung over my shoulder as I exit room #2 and head down the holl to the dock. Today is absolutely the kind of day I wish I had my standard issue backpack currently still residing in California, but for now its just me and this duffle, and we're making due.

It is always interesting wonce you've spent a few days in a place how it changed and I can now see a much more efficient way to get from point A to point B. When I arrive at the pier in minutes flat I wonder why I was ever so discombobulated. 

I have, of course, arrived at the pier early, a mix an inability to sleep and wanting plenty of time to figure things out. A number of speed boats are docked alongside a huge white ship seemingly rented out by the country of Japan. None of these watercrafts are my overpriced Sun Tours so I sit, and I wait.

It is as I am waiting in the morning sun I hear an 'excuse me,' and as I turn around it is the young woman from my hostel. Apparently I left without paying my balance. The women at the front when I left just stared at me blankly so I took that as a sign we were good to go. I hand her a 20 and in exchange she offers me some valuable information about Snake Island, a lot of snakes used to live there, and a tiny island just beyond that illegally acquired by the Russian government. I am grateful for the info as well as her assurance that I am, in fact in the right place and we say goodbye.

Sitting on the pier only enforces my 40/60 theory (thanks again, Lorelai Gilmore) about this town. I would venture to guess that at least half of the Sihanhoukville population is a 60 something Caucasian male with a 40 something Cambodian bride. I hate that the cynical side of me questions the hand holding and gold bands as somehow fake or inauthentic. Maybe they are realy in love. Maybe marriage means different things to diffierent people. Maybe my concept of passion, love, commitment and conflict resoultion is puerile in it's conception.

Maybe.






























Finally Sun Tours 3 decker, Staten Island Ferry inspired ship docks and I happily board the monolith for some classic rock and modern pop tunes, a provided meal and 2 hours on the open water.  

The thought of eating and shipping at the same time is a daunting one and it is my earnest hope that the boat just rides steadily enough that the included meal doesnt include me losing it over the side. Motion sickness is a terribly affliction from which I have always suffered and one a former boyfriend used to insist was all 'in my head' until one bumpy cab ride uptown literally turned me green.

Our first stop is a tiny island. A patch of pure vegetation an hour off shore and immediately the backpackng crew of young twentysomethings began to leap from the top level of the shop. This while the throng of old Chinese ladies, replete with life vest and blow up floaties I witnessed them inflating while on board - stood idly by, not even attempting to get wet. 

I was content to sit and read and hopefully get some quiet if everyone was out in the sea - but then I thought - when is the next time I will get this experience, so I put the book down, disbrobed, and lept. Feet first into the salty sea, riding me of any nasal congestion as well as the top to my bikini almost instantly. The current was strong and steady so my childhood award winning swimming skills came in handy bobbing in the sea. I took the time to chat with some fellow travelers briefly and a thickly accented man immediately said, 'American?' to which I, of course replied yes. I asked the perfunctory and you. He was Norweigan. Then I took a beat.

Not one to leave any stone unturned I said - do I look America or sound American.

And his reply was simple and concise. "The confidence. It's nice."

I chose to take him at face value and choose to say here, thank you strange Norweigan man for some unsolicited kind words. 

As the boat rocked along lunch was served and the line to dig in wrapped around the bottom deck. I insinuated myself amongst the young folks and, as it happens, right behind a friendly old soul from New Zealand named Zack.

He was suffering from motion sickness and, being a lifelong member of that club I offered some friendly suggestions and we began to chat. He felt like the elder statesman of his tour group at 28 and when we docked just a short time later neither one of us wanted to end the conversation so we sidled up at an outdoor eatery, and I use the term eatery loosely and decided to grab a drink.

Electricity is limited on the island and I am going to blame that on the fact that when we were told a mojito and pina colada were all that was available today on the drink menu that Zack received grass trimmings in a highball and I got a cup of cream of coconut with a splash of rum. Needless to say they were disgusting and replacement Klangs were ordered immediately following.

As we sat and talked movies, books and travels I told Zack that I was a photographer, but fancied myself a bit of a writer too, though these entries may prove otherwise.

Not being shy I admitted to Zack that life had been rough, though not going into detail and that I was a bit of a crier. Though we had just met he told me he was surprised, because I seemed to strong. My response: You can be both.

He told me I spoke like a writer.

I enjoyed the comment immensely.

Being the almost gentleman that he is, I was walked to my accomodation for the night, Freedom Bungalow. As we travereed the beach each and every business, of which there are few, simply pointed further down the beach and exclaimed something along the lines of all the way.

It turns out when booking my room the night before I passed up on plenty of perfectly good prospects to choose the cheapest private room I could find on (Matt) Saracen Bay in exchange for convenience. Freedom Bungalow was not only at the far end of the beach, there was construction, so you had to hike up into the jungle, take a right at the shantytown and decend again before you located this perfectly lovely, if hidden, gem.

The irony in my decision to unknowingly choose the place that required the most dangerous and arduous route was not lost on me.

Perhaps some of my decision making acumen needs adjustment.

I bid adieu to my new Kiwi homie Zack and handed him my business card in the least obnoxious way possible as I would be here, in Koh Rong Samleon for a few days and he was heading back to Thailand to get his Muy Thai on.

Once check into room 23 there was no sign of any B. Or any wifi. Or any electricity before 6pm. And no access to the main beach. With less than 100 pages left in my book I panicked, if only mildly.






















































In all honesty though, this place is beautiful magical, otherworldly and if I were not concerned with first world needs like an available meal before 6pm, or were with a paramour or, I were very very high, it would truly be heaven.

Cambodia, if I am doing the math correctly, is country #37 for me and it has been pretty rate in my experience thus far to feel like I am in a world so different from my own. Renting a thatched roof cottage on the beach for 20 American dollars to enjoy white sand beaches and clear blue waters miles off of the Southern coast of Cambodia feels pretty far. 

I really have been to some of the most romantic places on earth. Alone. 

Blue Green offers a reprieve from the heat of the sun with its outdoor patio and happy hour specials.

I post up at a table for 4 with my book and a Coke when a little orange kitty comes to say hello. I am always hesitant to touch animals in these parts of the world, but I say hello and take a couple of pictures. Then, out of nowhere his white friend decides to get in on the action and both are now atop my table. 9000 miles away from home, in a country I am sure doesnt share the same stereotype and I have become a cat lady. It is pointless to resist. I may as well buy an arsenal of house dresses, throw on some chancletts and put rollers in my hair and call it a day.

The kitchen opened about an hour later and a bowl of delicious green curry is served to me by a shirtless, nipple ringed young Spanish man who may or may not have been smoking a doobie when delivering said meal.

Once the Wifi is turned on I am an a roll and when I hear a familiar language being spoken behind me I make fast friends.

Gary is a pilot currently flying out of Siem Reap who popped down for the weekend to get some sun and some apparent food poisoning. After a few minutes of friendly conversation I ask if he is Liverpuddlian and he seems equal parts surprised and impressed by my adept accent determining skills. When he asks how I knew he was from the North my answer is simple, accurate and predictable: The Beatles. If you don't know what Paul McCartney's accent sounds like you've either been living under a rock, or you're an idiot.

Once a friendly German traveler from a table over joins the conversation its basically a full fledged party.

Dinner and internet have both been consumed and it is time for me to take the long walk, down the latnern lit beach, over the river and through the woods, barefoot mind you, to Freedom.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

bermuda love triangle

















Sitting on a rock at the Hamilton airport, staring at the aquamarine water, basking in the delightfully clear skies I cannot wait to get home. Trying desperately, on my 32nd birthday to take stock in those things that are good in my meager existence as opposed to all things wrong as I anxiously await an intimate birthday dinner with some friends who love me and whom I adore. Waking up on your birthday with a strange man in a strange country may sound exciting, or may sound like the beginning of the Hangover 4- but trust me it is not nearly as charming and Bradley Cooper's baby blues are nowhere to be found.

Lets rewind.  


A couple months ago I booked myself a trip to Bermuda for my birthday weekend. The flight was cheap, the country was unknown to me, and the spontaneity of it all made me feel like myself again after having lost contact with that particular person for some time.

I felt good about my impulse purchase until I realized that perhaps this was the sort of destination best enjoyed with a travel mate. It still surprises me when I get myself into these pickles- as I have before- how few people are down for an impromptu voyage. Several weeks later I had begun seeing a man who, for all intents and purposes, was fantastic but we had yet to really click. I offhandedly mentioned he should come along, as I am wont to do, and he immediately jumped on board. This sort of down for whatever attitude should have excited the traveler not so deep within me, but instead made me a little nervous and apprehensive.

I like to make each of my trips a new adventure, and interesting in their own right. It seemed that Bermuda would be my first couples challenge- although instead of going with a boyfriend or someone I loved deeply I was going with someone who was essentially a stranger, so much so that he was biblically still unknown to me. What would my grandmother say?

Anchors away.
























It all started harmlessly enough. We had agreed to meet in Penn station Thursday morning to take the NJT out to Newark. He had some difficulty navigating the train hub, but it was no bother as I chatted up two officers standing guard in full regalia.

A quick ride to EWR and we were off for the surprisingly short flight to Hamilton, Bermuda. I graciously offered my aisle seat as he returned the favor with affectionate warmth for which I was in desperate need as flights always seem to have thermostats set to sub zero.

I had arranged for a driver to pick us up and before you knew it we were in Conrad Murray's cab (ok, maybe that wasn't his name, but it was Conrad Something) twisting and turning down the pristine roads of Bermuda heading out to Southampton where I had rented an apartment. Our driver was amiable and charming and, as I later discovered, a clear indicator of the generous and friendly inhabitants that can be found on this isolated island in the Atlantic.

Being the tightwad I am, I rented the cheapest place I could find in Bermuda, which happened to be a tiny apartment settled just underneath Mrs. White's humble abode located in Southampton, on the West side of the island. Mrs. White was a widow somewhere between 75 and 250 years old trying to make an extra buck by renting out her home. She had had some troubles with guests before which she detailed ad nauseum just before explaining to me that I was white and my travel companion was black. How is it old people get away with saying anything?  It was quickly followed by hugs and declarations of love, so all was forgiven.

A quick freshening up session and we were off to the Dockyards to witness a cruise ship's idea of a good time when in port, which included a cover band, some 'local' crafts made in Taiwan and overpriced drinks representing every color of the rainbow. Burgers and curried chicken, which would soon become meal staples, were consumed. A cocktail or two may have been sampled, and we were back to Mrs. White's pad sleep away memories of America and awaken to a new day. And the beach...



















































Church Bay, which soon became our favorite beach on the southern coast of Bermuda, is an idyllic strip of sand facing crystal blue waters fraught with largely day trippers from the cruises that dock at the West side of the island. Peaceful, serene and picturesque this is an ideal location to do absolutely nothing.

Bermuda is a country of beautiful beaches, warm people and sub par public transportation.

We decided to take this sub par transport, or as I would like to call it vomitmobile - a note of warning to anyone who suffers, as I do, from motion sickness, be prepared to consume copious amounts of Dramamine whilst on the island, as there is no straightaway. After boarding the pink bus to Hamilton I had some time to relax and people watch, one of my most favorite activities. With almost an hour en route, the places open for dinner at close to 10 were limited, but we asked a nice rotund, dark skinned cowboy offered us a few suggestions and we decided upon Cafe Cairo, only to later discover it was the hottest discotheque in town.

Yummy food and cocktails in shades of pastels and neon were consumed before heading to the veranda for hookahtime. Now, I am not a hookah fan, but as my travel mate was I was more than happy to accompany him to the balcony to be amongst the throngs of teenagers taking advantage of looser liquors laws and overpriced cigarettes. As I rapidly turn into my mother I realized I could no longer handle the smoke and retreated downstairs to perch upon a wall and watch the world go by, literally. Women in stilettos and spandex hopping on their scooters to hopefully soberly drive home, old white couples wearing beach appropriate attire and sunburns to match. The evening breeze brought me a sense of peace until I realized my travel mate's lack of information as to where exactly I was seated caused a little friction. I think I am so used to traveling alone that I often forget to 'check in' with others when I make choices. It was nice to know someone cared and after a cab ride home it was off to bed again. 






















































With Hamilton being the only real 'city' on Bermuda we took advantage of the pink buses to head back into town to buy some bus passes, which would have been useful the past couple of days, buy some souvenirs and check out the town. With a large Anglican population I took advantage of the Holy Trinity Cathedral to light my traditional candle abroad for a friend I lost in childhood and we were back out to the beach in no time. Hamilton is clearly a town for those who come to shop for luxury items when on holiday, so I felt little need to stick around.










































Our final day was spent visiting Gibb's Hill Lighthouse where, for 2 American dollars you can climb the seemingly endless stairs to the top and get a well deserved 360 degree view of the island that, from up above looks so small, but who's winding roads prove deceptive. It was rainy and hot, so we wandered back down to the main road covered in a mix of sweat and god's tears. The showers had subsided, but just as the clouds looked to be coming back our way, a nice woman offered us a ride. This is perhaps one of my greatest joys in traveling - discovering the kind hearts all over the world and - in other parts of the world - where showing this is encouraged. This realization is often realized with a bit of melancholy and the wish that my home country could be more like this.

Unfortunately, a real vacation, something I have not perhaps ever had in my life, offers little juice for a story well told. It simply offers additional freckles on my aging face and a leaner back account upon completion. Upon return I realized how few people were able to identify Bermuda's exact location on the globe and how many confused it with the Bahamas and home to Atlantis. For me, Bermuda will always hold a special place as the country in which I bid adieu to a painful 31 and hello to a welcomed 32.

july 2013