Monday, June 22, 2015

A Hazy Shade of Winter - The Fat Girl Edition

Up early thanks for a text from a fellow traveling friend (thanks Brandon!) - in a time zone far far away, I was able to make it to the provided continental breakfast downstairs at Hotel Milano which, in this country seems to include deli meat and cheeses. Not my steez.

A bowl of bland cornflakes and a couple tapped keys on the lap top and I was prepared to check out, say goodbye to Punta del Esta and make my way to Minas.

I had miscalculated when I was heading back to the states and realized I had a whole extra day in which I could head back to Montevideo and gaze at the grey skies and sooty city streets or I could take those 24 hours and visit someplace new.

Not having been able to locate a Lonely Planet for just Uruguay, likely due to the size and relative importance of this country, I bought a Brandt guide weeks before leaving and according to the middle-aged white man who wrote it if you're only in Uruguay for a short stay Minas is worth a gander.

Packing up all of my stuff has become a more and more arduous process each day and with all of my gifts purchased and food stuffs tucked away for long bus rides I am no longer so pleased with my less is more approach to packing.

Sherpa'ing my shit back to the bus terminal I remembered just in the nick of time to stop in at el correo to send my obligatory post cards. Having created so many traditions of my own on these journeys I am finding my trips are less wandering and more organized chaos. This is merely part of the reason I never say I'm going on vacation and always say I'm traveling.

Trust me, if you could see me right now. Dirty hair, dirty clothes, bags strewn about, sitting on the roadside waiting for my 12:45 bus to Minas you'd agree - I don't make this look luxurious or relaxing. But if you look closely enough, it just might resemble living.

Bidding adieu to this beach resort destination on a grey and hazy day made me particularly grateful that my Sunday here was so idyllic and that I'd decided to leave this morning and keep my lovely memories in tact.


















Sitting on the roadside, which happens to face the beach, I am brought back 10 years. I'm in the South of Spain and I've been traveling with a girlfriend for weeks through early spring in Europe. It's been so cold I've been layering jacket upon hoodie upon t-shirt (some things evidently never change). Once we reach Cadiz it isn't hot, but it's warmer than any place we've seen in far too many days and we run down to the beach, enormous backpacks strapped to our bodies in painful and meticulous ways. Without hesitation we drop our bags, and then drop our tops, and lay in the sun. It is the only time I've ever sunbathed topless and I can't help but think how much has changed in the past decade decade. 10 years, 3 cities, 2 heartbreaks, one loss of a parent, a handful of grey hairs and 32 or so more countries.

Deciding it was far too cold and leggings are not nearly enough insulation to sit outside and ponder my youth I crossed back over the street, and decided to spend the next 90 minutes in Cafe Pecas, which seemed all too appropriate for this freckle face. Inside Good Morning South America plays on the flat screen and the heat was turned all the way up. An amiable man with a glass eye and sunny disposition served me green tea and a cookie and I watched the world go by as I waited for my Bruno bus departure.

Making certain to get on the right bus this time I interrupted the driver's phone conversation to confirm and the plopped my ass down in lucky seat 13.

Though when I boarded it was just me and a slumbering woman, as the bus wound it's way through the countryside it began to fill up. 


Navigating the suburbs of Piriapilos I nearly decked a woman seated across the aisle who took this ride as her opportunity to 'catch up on correspondence.' Only problem was, instead of taking the Rachel Green approach and writing letters, she chose to make call after call chatting with, from what I could gather, loved ones of all ages and comprehension levels at a very audible volume. Technology, like many things in life, really is such a blessing and a curse. This being an example of the latter.

The deeper inland we drove the more at peace I felt. Modest homes, candy colored with chickens running free in the yard. Vast stretches of unscathed land, rolling into the distance. And, for good measure, a smattering of senior citizens pushing bicycles and carrying baskets, dressed in wool sweaters and knit caps. This was the Latin America I knew well. This was the Latin America I love.

Sneaking bites of the baguette and peanut butter from inside my bag helped curb the nausea I tend to experience when in any sort of moving vehicle, if by land or sea. I repeat, helped. I was determined to stay awake for this midday ride and take the opportunity to watch the world outside the window, motion sickness be damned!

Finally! Terminal Minas. Realizing I had seen calle 25 de Mayo, the street upon which Hotel Minas is located, when pulling into town, I figured it would be easy enough to locate. I was wrong. After walking in concentric circles for 20 minutes or so I asked for assistance from a sweet young man clearly using all of his youthful determination to sprout a mustache. With a couple sentences and gestures I was able to easily navigate my way to the hotel, climb up the almost hidden stair well and ring the bell.  






























After sharing nearly all of my personal information with the kind, if downtrodden, woman at the front desk, barring measurements and blood type, and dropping my bags off in room 23 I took a moment. I took a moment to stare, perplexed, at what 60 bucks a night buys you in this town. Moment had. Money is, after all,  just paper and there were sights to be seen, so I hit the streets, draped in every article of clothing I brought, including the mustard yellow leg warmers used to help me complete the 2010 NYC marathon, for photos and food. I'm afraid I not terribly successful with either.

After marveling at the interesting lined faces, none of which I properly documented, on the streets and beautifully weathered walls, I began my quest for a meal. Evidently butchershops are plentiful here, yet an actual restaurant, where you can sit down and eat a mixture of protein, carbohydrates and vegetables, is not. Is it that people eat at home here unless in need of deli meat or ice cream? Locating an expansive eatery with a sign boasting it's specials outside and housing an adorable elderly woman inside, I figured I'd take a chance.

What I ended up with was a bottle of room temperature Coca Cola and a cold, condiment-less sandwich of indeterminate origin and indecipherable taste. Luckily it was served in a completely empty, marble floored room with no central heat. In the dead of Winter. The poor old woman was mainlining cafe con leche just to stay alive! Not in the position to negotiate or wanting to be rude and leave, I was left to sit by the window, cold, hungry and terrified I would not be able to eat the rest of the day. Feeling like I was left with few options, I took a bite. Still not able to identify the meat of which this was made or what sort of rippling batter in which it was covered I began to pray. 

And then I began to exit.

I just couldn't do it. With the hope that I could find a mini-mart somewhere close by I left the barely touched sandwich and paid up. The barkeep was friendly and asked if I was Brazilian, so the 90 Pesos ended up being well worth it, as I associate Brazilian with Victoria's Secret model. It's pretty much the same thing - is it not? When I corrected him with the appropriate 'no, Estados Unidos' he and his friend replied 'Mr. Obama!' It never ceases to amaze me how little we know about so many others, but how much they all know about us...

Spotting what looked like a place to dine, due to the disproportionate amount of elderly couples sitting in the window, there seemed to be a light at the end of the hunger tunnel. Always drawn to the olds I entered the double doors and discovered it was a butcher shop and a bakery with a small frozen foods section. What the hell! Pringles and strawberry galletas for dinner it was. Having made a summer resolution, after my body instructing me in no uncertain terms to do so by way of paralysis and cellulite, to take better care of myself I was hesitant, but hungry.  I never thought I'd be this unable to eat well here. Though I'm not sure why, this is certainly not my first rodeo and I have found in many countries it is either home cooked meals from scratch or total shit in brightly colored packaging from the corner store. New York has spoiled me with it's constant access to ... well, everything.  Accepting that my pubescent skin and saddle bags would just have to wait it out for a few more days, I devoured salty and sweet and watched the sky turn golden.

It's cold in the valley here. Really cold. And I was operating on equal parts sugar, salt and fat - so hibernation seemed in order. Moving from one town to the next, each one earlier to bed and later to rise, I'm afraid I'm not getting much late night action,  so tonight it me, David Brooks and my heater. Sounds like a threesome made for the books, literally.



















Buenos Noche!

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Pink Cheeks and Dusty Rose Skies



A sleepless night of American television, gradual and sustained jet lag and thoughts swirling through my head like a kaleidoscope of mayhem made for plenty of tossing and turning in my itty bitty bed.

The alarm went off at 8:30 am, but I did not rise until nearly an hour later, waiting for the clean ocean air and bright morning sun to permeate my cavern of solitude by way of room 18 before once again donning my cat suit for a morning run along the ocean front. A travel tradition of mine that continues to be one of my favorite.

I've found that this is the quietest hour in any given city - the morning run hour. My brief experience in Uruguay has shown me that perhaps there is not a noisy one here, or maybe it is just the fact that I have city hopped since I was a teenager and San Francisco, New York and Los Angeles all begin to bustle at some point. Not only does this allow for time to clear my head and get my sweat on, but there are always sights to be seen. 

A lone Guadelupe sits out upon a mountain of shattered shells a few hundred meters past Los Dedos; two blocks over from my hotel. A small shrine built to the Virgin; an amphitheater filled with fake flowers and placards expressing gratitude where this beautiful lady stands. If you've ever had the privilege of visiting my living space you know I have a penchant for religious imagery, Guadalupe in particular. A tattered canvas of her from Peru currently hangs on my wall in New York, the large crucifix from Guatemala put away years ago after my then paramour didn't like the idea of it hanging ominously over my bed. Understood.

So she was a welcomed pit stop this morning. A buenas dia to my soul.

Not too far down the road there was a  fisherman of maybe 45, perched atop the rocky shore flanked by his son, wrapped in a fire engine red coat; his handy assistant riffling through the tackle box. 

My father bought me my own rod and feel many years ago. We would fish on the American River and used vegetarian bait. Needless to say our journeys were not terribly fruitful but memories I have kept close to my heart. Seeing this father and son continuing our tradition without knowing it seemed fitting on Father's Day, 2015. I'm eternally grateful to have had a father who took me on new and exciting excursions and my heart is warmed when I see other fathers who do the same. Sometimes I think i'll be wasted as a mother, as I would certainly have been a fantastic father.

Please don't see this as a cry for help or a reason to call Vanity Fair - that was not a Caitlyn Jenner moment by any stretch of the imagination.

Allow me to paint a picture for you of how mellow an off season Sunday is in Punta Del Este. The street lights, scattered every few blocks are turned off. Not the flashing red or yellow, as you may have seen stateside, they are literally off - evidently trusting your fellow man really means something down here.

Part California beach town part Santorini, the architecture here is confused, but beautiful. Couples come out hand in hand, dog leash laws be damned, carting their mate gourd glasses and thermoses to walk the perimeter of the peninsula seemingly just for the enjoyment of it. Imagine that!

Noisy birds and slow moving cars are the only distraction from the tranquility this town has to offer.

























After returning back to Milano I bathed under the rain showewr and gathered myself. Ready to face the day. Retracing my steps from my morning run I meandered the roads looking for nourishment, as I was hungry and chairs were just being set out and dusted off at for business at noon! I made my way back out to the far end of town where I had spotted two statues facing the crashing waves. Upon closer inspection I saw that they were terribly dilapidated mermaids, built from stone and tile into the rock formations that guard the shore. With pert exposed breasts, naked and facing the sun I realized my instincts were right and this was the perfect place to leave a part of my father on this particular journey; on this particular day. Having lived in a childhood home where ladies in various states of undress were either hung on the wall or hanging from his arm I knew my dad would be pleased with my selection and most definitely let out one of his distinctive lion laughs. 

Out on the rocky cliff I dropped bits of grey dust and bone into the ocean. As I watched the sprinkled remnants sink to the sea floor I hoped some fish would swallow them whole and that my father could live on in more than just me (and my sister, of course).

Neil Young allowed me a moment of my own, alone on the cliff with my 'Old Man.'

Back past the Virgin again and I finally located food, and wifi in the way of El Pasiva. I had warmed from the walk, going so far as to take off my jacket for the first time this week but quickly found when seated on the patio at this laid back eatery I would not only need to re-bundle, but exercise patience - needless to say speedy service was not their strong suit.

Served the very specific and unique part of the chicken that seems to consist mostly of oil as skin coupled with a salad, the bulk of which was sliced onion, accompanied by some shredded carrots and an egg - no lettuce in sight - was disappointing. Famished, not having eaten for well over 12 hours I devoured the papas fritas and picked around the healthy parts of the meal, for which I had been immensely proud of myself for ordering. When the bill came and totaled over 800 pesos my pride faded.

Back to the bus terminal I painfully fumbled through my ever decaying Spanish and hopped another COT bus for the low low price of about 3 bucks to head 30 minutes outside of town to Casapueblo.

As a hotel I had seen this Spanish-inspired structure and considered staying here as a hotel guest, but when I saw they were booked until I'd likely be in the throws of menopause I made it a day trip out to see Carols Paez Vilano's masterpiece and get to catch the sunset from the cliffs, a must do when visiting the south of Uruguay.

A handsome man with fantastically bushy caterpillar eyebrows assisted in my exit from the bus along the highway, casually pointing to a blue sign saying Bienvenedos a Casapueblo. I took a right and rambled down a very long, very poorly labeled road in hopes of reaching my destination; of reaching a destination before night fell and the well mannered dogs that roam the streets free here would not have my carcass upon which to feast - lord knows they could eat for weeks!

Finally, I reached my the end of the road, part parking lot, part awe inspiring architecture. A quick right and you're at Casapueblo. To say breathtaking is an understatement. Built into the side of a mountain, on a perfect central coast California day, the water sparkled like tinsel on a tree and the stark white building, Gaudi meets Greece, is both literally and figuratively a work of art.

































For 200 pesos you can gain entrance to the gallery and purchase over priced reproductions of Carlos Paez Vilaro's work, as I did. Sadly most of the property seems to be closed off either for construction or for privacy, but the view is gorgeous and you can sweet talk your way into the terrace to enjoy a Coca Cola Lite an an alfajor, a treat easily found in these parts. A merengue covered cookie filled with something icky, so I just pick around it like a petulant child, was delicious. They sell these at my local bodega as well, but I can say with absolute certainty they look nothing like this!

Basking in the late afternoon sun, feeling the freckles multiply on my browning face I consumed massive amounts of sugar, listened to Brazilian jazz, and sat. Sat in the sun. Sat in the quiet. Sat in the solitude.

Tears once again invaded my big brown eyes, as they are wont to do - but for a couple opposing reasons. It is so beautiful here and in this moment I am content. As at peace as I felt, I will admit, my heart yearn for someone with whom to share these moments - a feeling I used to be ashamed of, as I saw wanting a partner as a sign of weakness but a subject on which I have since changed my tune.

The way I see it, I am a compassionate, witty, adventurous  woman and truth be told, a champ in the sack (sorry, Mom). Knowing that I want a man, an equal, a partner to share my already fairly kick ass life with is a sign of strength, not weakness. As I mentioned the other day, I believe in my heart I've already met this man - now we just need to wait for things to fall into place and for his spirit to commingle with mine. It will happen. Of this I am sure. After all, thoughts are physical.

After a few more moments of tranquil peace selfie season began and the Brazilian tourists descended upon my nice little terrace and took a barrage of shots in every combination known to man. Luckily they also have no sense of personal space (insert Lee Greenwood jam here), so the fact that their altered butts and sweatered elbows hit me multiple times not only didn't give them a moments pause, it didn't even elicit a brief pardon. Reading a chapter in Bobos In Paradise about everyone thinking themselves a celebrity couldn't have come at a better time.

With about an hour to spare before sunset, I made my way out of Casapueblo and hiked down the hill to hopefully get a better vantage point of the property and have some moments with the sunset. The deck had been so warm my cheeks pinked but as the sky turned a dusty rose my face blanched a grInga white once again.

Despite some kids smoking a joint (legally everywhere in Uruguay, I might add), the sunset was lovely and I became acutely aware that I have witnessed countless beautiful sunsets all over this planet and for that I was filled with gratitude.

After the show was over, so to speak, a line of cars made their way out and I, the only sunset enthusiast on foot, hightailed it back to the bus stops in Chucks, making it to the parrara just in time to catch the city bus, a significantly lower fair than the posh COT but just as functional.

I drank in the light lined the coast as I headed back to Punta Del Este, knowing with sweet melancholy that this would be my last night in a city I've so thoroughly, if not leisurely, enjoyed.


Back in town I made a pit stop at the local minimart to have my own little corporate picnic back in my hotel room, purchasing goods from a man eager to talk about New York and California (I claimed to be from 'los dos') and, after getting my third converter on this trip, camped out for the evening.





















Nerds, salami and sparking water in bed. Who could ask for more?