Showing posts with label adventure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adventure. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Briana Libre - The Cuba Edition



I'm on my way.

It's the middle of the night, balmy, and I can't sleep.

I leave for the airport in 2 short hours and head to a country I've been fantasizing about for over a decade.

I've read every book I could get my hands on detailing everything from the socialist arts programs that fund things like the ballet to the boarding school that, at one time, housed both Fidel Castro and Desi Arnez. I've watched movies, eaten food, had a failed attempt to make my way there which resulted in my lone impromptu trip to Mexico during swine flu season and even had a clandestine affair with a man who sang me love songs from his homeland while working as a carpenter in London many, many moons again.

Cuba.

That tiny country off the coast of Florida yet a million miles away.

The Alamo to my Herman.

And now, that the day is here and the adventure upon me I am utterly... indifferent.

Sure it could be my travel snobbery kicking in and some luster being lost now that Obama aided in making Havana the hottest weekend getaway for a wide breadth of New Yorker. But I think it's more than that.

I think it's that when life has been scooped out of you like a heaping serving of mint chip ice cream even those things that should excite, please and titillate you so often fall flat.

Luckily, my apathy rarely stops me from moving forward and so, Havana here I come. Please bring me more than additional freckles on my face and sweaty chaffing on my thighs.
















With no sleep the airport is easily navigated and gregarious airport workers seem to have arrived for the job in droves.

Passenger Christopher Frederick is paged over and over again. And just the sound of His name sends shivers down my spine and nails deep into my heart.

Then flight 1295 to Los Angeles announces it is boarding and the circle is complete. No matter where in the world I am. No matter in what I am engaged - there is always a flight boarding for Los Angeles and I always want to get on it.

As destinations are rambled off over the intercom I feel like I'm trapped in a tragic version of this is your life and I'm dying for a commercial break.


The flight to Havana is smooth, or so I assume as I was knocked out in my premier member automatic upgrade seat for the 3.5 hours during which I soared over the Caribbean Sea.

The sleep was so deep I almost forgave the wretched flight attendant who's disregard for passengers and distaste for the friendly skies was so apparent, it was palpable.

After disembarking I made a left at the burros and succinctly moved through immigration and customs to arrive at Cuba Car, where I had reserved an economy car in hopes of covering more ground in the meager allotment of time I had on this island.

As we entered the shallow foyer the 'El Monty Python' episode was already well under way with 4 doors, 2 sets of 2, facing one another and seemingly dumb, deaf and blind employees exchanging one closed office door for the next on a rotating schedule with no real evident purpose or meaning and most certainly no acknowledgement of the throngs of waiting Latinos – me included!

Finally a friendly Cuban girl by way of Las Vegas suggested just going in, uninvited, and so I did. I was greeted by a total lack or reaction or interest in my presence. Luckily our minimal interaction resulted in minimal assistance and we stood in terminal 2 for over an hour while being given a litany of reasons as to what we were to do and when to expect the car conundrum to be resolved.

Around the 90 minute mark we were escorted to terminal 3 where a jovial man in a small box informed me that since I had failed to bring my driver’s license to Havana (did I mention I packed after a 20 hour day) we would not be permitted to leave with a vehicle and because life is just never that simple we were also informed that the reservation could in no way be transferred to my travel mate's name.

Small detail.

I fucked up (in sort of a big way).

Moving on.

Limited cash and hours without sustenance my forgiving travel homie and I hopped in an overpriced cab, equipped with large billed euros and headed for Casa Ivis, our humble abode for the evening.

Upon our arrival, Juan warmly greeted us at the door and excitedly described what I can only imagine were the amenities in rapid fire Spanish and, shortly thereafter we were deposited into room 1 and utilizing wifi whilst perched upon the iron wrought veranda.















After a brief respite we climbed down the stairs and took to the streets. Not knowing where exactly we were or where exactly we were headed we took to the war torn Kelly Moore coated streets and meandered blocks and blocks of restaurant and bar-less residential thoroughfares hoping, I think in equal parts, to find reprieve from the stickiness hanging tough in the air and a place to fill our bellies on our increasingly limited budget.

One of my first observations - the streets of Havana are literally filled with American flags. Old ladies wearing spandexed red white and blue over their ample behinds, grown men sporting tank tops with stars and stripes nicely offsetting their biceped arms and toddlers in trainers waddling around declaring their love for my country around every bend. It was crazy and noticing it only made you notice it more. I thought to myself if I wore my own USA leggings that I proudly sported for a previous patriotic Christmas card maybe, just maybe, people would think I was Cuban too!

Hangriness setting in two neon signs revealed themselves and the latter was chosen. The Lotus Flower seemed like an ironic choice in Latin America but the ac was blasting and the menu was plentiful.

A shared appetizer and exotic cola beverage I've never seen before nicely offset the gargantuan portion of arroz con pollo upon which we both feasted along with a huge helping of maduros. Needless to say - yum.

Some minor currency issues, reminding us how desperately we would need to get to the bank in the morning, and we were back on the dusty streets filled with beautiful children, friendly men, and ancient cars proving that the disposable world in which we all live in now - where H&M offers quick fashion cheap enough to toss last season’s find, Apple comes out with a new product annually, immediately making those you previously owned obsolete, and apps like Tinder give you a smorgasbord of smashing options so if your bitch gets too intense, drop her - is a sad sad world indeed.

A strolll down the the malecon offered a candy colored sunset along the sea wall and a nice fisherman asked me to be his girlfriend - so I'd say it was a win all around.

With plans changing due to my idiocy in forgetting my driver’s license it was back to Casa Ivis to try to get on some wifi to make some moves. Though, with Internet only available during certain hours the streets were flanked with young lovers and boisterous families all enjoying sitting within close proximity to one another - but a million miles away, typing away on their respective devices. Ignoring one another and rendering it impossible for me to book a room or move a reservation. Oh well, when all else fails, go to bed. After all, tomorrow is another day - right Scarlett?









Saturday, December 17, 2016

A Baby Jellyfish In My Vagina











You know you're not in Kansas anymore when the driver for hire (a tuk tuk in this case) literally pulls over so he can take a call. I find the antiquated ways of the third world equal parts charming and frustrating. In New York I would likely be up in arms at the blatant disregard for my dire need to get wherever it is I was going, but here, I am just along for the ride.

If only I could employ this que sera sera attitude in my everyday life. Or rather my life back in the 'real world.'

Just across from my abode for the evening I sit in a papasan chair that may or may not contain mold, bugs or other's pit and but juices but tonight is mellow and I fret not. Instead I greedily slurp down my pineapple shake, listen to some Jurassic 5 and read up on addiction and abuse as I wait for my diner companion.

Garreth meets me for dinner and we dine under the stars before he coerces me into making moves to Otres 1 where soon find myself amongst a throng of 21 year olds waxing poetic about the meaning of life at Ibiza Beach Club, replete with black light paint and fire dancers.

We chat. I sit quietly in my gauzy gown and when my age is revealed - by me - the collective gasp is audible. And welcomed! A 27 year-old Aussie, who I later found out slept with one of her students, says she thought I was younger than her. Brit boy says he doesn't understand why everyone in the worldages better than the British. Its the little things... (and it was dark)


Around midnight the boozy bunch partake in fire limbo which, I don't know about you, but sounds like an EXCELLENT idea to me and the fire boys with their lithe and flexible frames are impressive and mildly sexually arousing.


As much as I enjoy watching the mating rituals amongst the inebriated, it is getting late and time for this old timer to leave the party. Though my new friend articulates that he is in the mood for 'affection,' I am not and take my own personal tuk tuk back to my private room that I am currently sharing with a gaggle of insects and turn in for the night around 3 am. Not too shabby for an old broad abroad... (yes - THAT will be the name of my future memoir - it is decided)

Our promise to meet for a kayaking adventure is met and though I am late the sun is high in the sky when Garreth and I climb into the brightly colored boat. 


On this particular journey I am crossing paths with people in my age range and it leaves me thinking, wondering, contemplating. What is 35?

Young at 35
Wise at 35

With little sleep we schlep our way out to the island situated in the crook of the bay and set up shop - at least for a bit. 

Its has a nice Blue Lagoon quality - with the exception of the sting. The sting one can only experience if they sit in the sand, allowing the sun to warm them and the waves to wash away their sins and... allow baby jellyfish to slip under their neon nylon and situate themselves all up in one's vagina. Being a girl is just fun.




































Garreth and I enjoy the rest of our day on the beach back on the mainland before he has to head his way and I have to head mine. I am in my Yankees cap, trying to maintain my already freckled face when two young girls come up and ask to make us bracelets or feed us fruit. We order pineapple and mango and listen to the two girls chat and giggle in Khmer but really 15 year old girl is the same in any language.

The girl with my matching hat on makes me an anklet, despite my repeated insistence that I was not interested and, as she ties it to my bronzed ankle tells me it will bring me good luck. Lets hope.

Such a lovely time is had that I decide - on the fly - to stay another day. After one more night in smelly room #2 I will be left with just a little over a day to shop for loved ones and catch my breath back in the capitol before beginning the long journey home.

Breakfast and one more night in smelly room 2, leaving me a little over a day to shop for loved ones and catch my breath before the long journey home.


The idea of having to go back to the streets of New York and bother with putting shoes on my feet before walking out of the front door is not something to which I look forward.
Vendors 15 year old girls - same in any language

My last night on Victory Beach I am gifted with a breathtaking cotton candy sunset

While pondering papasan style on the darkened beach it occurred to me that 6 months ago, to the day, I was in Egypt. Not only was I in Egypt, but I was in love and, for the most part, I was happy.

It's amazing how much tragedy and torture can be fit into half a year. It's incredible how your life can be destroyed and your entire person irrevocably changed - all in a season or two.

Getting a bit too maudlin I decided instead to turn back to my WW II novel and attempt to lighten the mood...


Belly filled with Cambodian cuisine I walk home in the dark along the sea.Walk home in dark along the sea.























My last morning in Southern Cambodia - and quite possible in Cambodia in general I meditate on the beach in a wicker chain chained to a tree. Or, at least I try. My mind is like Grand Central Station at rush hour and I try desperately to just breath. I try to calm mind, to quiet it, to focus on my breath but there is undoubtedly a pop song playing in the background and a to do list formulating in the corner. I am thinking of loves lost and whether or not my socks are clean. They say women are multitaskers and generally I'm proud to be one. But here it proves problematic.

Time for a pancake (note: not plural) and tea and before and you know it the bright orange minibus was parked on the bright red soil and, just like that I was off.

And deeply sad to leave

Luckily I met lovely British Carla - here traveling for a year and I have an ally in transit. Especially helpful when creepy gay sex worker is lounging in the back of the bus with an oily leer and a mustard button down. Even making eye contact with him immediately made me feel the need to bathe. Ick.